Olivia Wilde: The Tonight Show with Jay Leno


So I was accidentality watching the Tonight Show with Jay Leno the other night but luckily the lovely Olivia Wilde was on. During the interview she starts talking about her dog, Paco and as she’s talking about her dog I mishear something she says. She said that her dog was a bad guard dog and would let a rapist into their home but I heard that he had let in a rapist. So this is the rest of the misheard story.

“So he actually let in a rapist?” Jay asked from behind his desk. “An actual rapist?”

“A actual rapist, Jay,” Olivia answered smiling. “I’m telling you, Paco is a terrible guard dog.” Fits of laughter and giggles played through the audience.

“So, ah, so what happened?” Jay asked.

Olivia started laughing, “Well, a stranger broke into my house a fucked me, Jay.” More laughs went through the audience. “That’s what happened.”

Jay chuckled, “Heh. Well, I guessed that part,” he said and then raised a hand out to indicate the audience. “We can all guess that part. But I mean, what was Paco doing while the stranger was breaking in. I assume this happened at your house?”

Olivia sat back in her overstuffed chair as she spoke. “Well, two of them broke into my house. But the worse part is that Paco actually helped,” she said laughing as the audience laughed along with her.

“Really?” Jay asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Olivia responded.

“O.k. I’m intrigued,” Jay said as he put down his notes. “Not only is Paco a terrible guard dog against criminals, he’s also a accomplice. Tell us everything. How did your dog help you get raped?”

Olivia folded her hands in her lap as she started her story. “Well, the first part I was told by the Police since I was asleep at the time. It was about 3:00 AM and Paco was sleeping in my bed next to me. I was wearing a old T-shirt of my fiance’s, Jason Sudeikis, and a lime green thong with little ankle socks. I like to keep in cold in my room so I was wrapped up in my lacy pink comforter and my bedroom door was open so Paco could take himself to the doggy door out back if he needed to go.”

“Now, like I said,” Olivia continued, “The Police say that it was about 3:00 AM so I was dead asleep. The two men started picking the locks on my front door after already disabling my alarms and the noises must have woken Paco. He didn’t bark or anything, instead he just got out of bed and trotted downstairs. I kinda, sorta woke up, y’know? Just enough to know that Paco was moving around but not enough to wake up all the way?”

“Sure, sure,” Jay agreed. “I think we all do that.”

“Right,” Olivia said. “So, I’m still asleep and Paco trots downstairs where 2 men are trying to break into my house. We’re guessing that Paco just sat, watching the door or something, just to see who it was and the Police guess he got tired of waiting. Based on some scratches on my door it looks like Paco started leaping up and smacking the door with his paws and eventually he smacked it just right to let the 2 men in.”

Jay and the audience broke into laughter. “I know, right? A terrible guard dog,” Olivia said as she laughed along. “So the two men begin ruffling through my stuff stealing, I don’t know, a couple of watches, some earrings and just a little of this and that, but nothing major. And the whole time Paco is probably just following them around, wanting his belly rubbed. But anyway, they didn’t get too much, just some little knick-nacks.”

“Right, right,” Jay agreed.

“Well, it looks like one of the men took their ‘spoils’ and left his friend to, I don’t know, clean up?, wipe down prints, I don’t know,” Olivia said as she continued her story. “At any rate I guess Paco got bored and started walking back to my room. So instead of Paco following the crook around, the crook followed Paco.”

Jay interrupted, “And why do you think that it? The intruder following your dog?”

“According to the Police the crooks only went after the open rooms, I guess trying not to wake anyone up,” Olivia answered.

“I see,” Jay said. “Pretty sneaky. Unfortunately in this case, the open door led to…”

“To me, right,” Olivia agreed. “So the crook made it to my room where I was sleeping. Apparently he was shocked to discover a celebrity because the Police say by how deep his foot prints were in my carpet he just stood at the foot of the bed, watching me sleep for a while.”

“And where was Paco?” Jay asked.

“Sitting in the doorway watching the whole thing,” Olivia laughed. “Anyway, the crook was watching me sleep for a while and I guess deciding what he should do. Eventually he reached out an pulled my comforter off, leaving me in my T-shirt, thong and matching socks and covered by my sheet. I didn’t think anything about it, and I did the kinda sorta waking up thing but I just figured it was Paco getting back into bed bed so I just went back to sleep, y’know? So after watching me for a bit more, probably making sure I was sound asleep, the crook pulled my sheet off. Now, I move around a lot in my sleep so my sleep clothes usually bunch up around my waist so this guy would have seen my lime green socks all the way up to my tiny lime green thong and my exposed stomach, and since I like it cold in my room my nipples were probably rock hard and poking through the thin material of my T-shirt as I slept.”

“Right, right,” Jay said. “And where was Paco now?”

“Still just sitting in the doorway watching!” Olivia laughed as Jay and the audience joined her. “I know, right? Well, the guy watched me for a while more and then he stripped naked except for his mask, one of those black ski mask thingies. I guess he was kinda loud because right about then I woke up. At first I’m just kinda groggy and I’m thinking it’s Jason until I see two things: the first thing I see is the mask and that kinda shocks me all the way awake because the second thing I see his his giant cock.”

The crown oohs and ahhs as Olivia holds her hands about a foot apart and nods her head like she’s agreeing with them. “I know. So now I’m totally awake and kinda trembling in fear or because of the cold and my arm starts to automatically reach for my phone on the night stand and the guy says, ‘Uh uh,’ and shows me a knife. I drop the phone on the floor and start to sit up but he just whispers, ‘Don’t move.’ I’m frozen in place while this strange, naked man with a giant, hard cock leers at me, tapping his knife against his thigh.

“Oh my,” Jay says. And then with a smirk he asked, “And Paco?”

“And there’s Paco, still sitting in the door way with his tongue hanging out,” Olivia giggled. “So Paco’s in the doorway as the intruder starts to crawl up onto my bed and straddling my ankles. He places the tip of the knife along the inside of my lower calf and slowly starts tracing it up my leg. I don’t have any choice so I spread my leg out wider as he reaches my inner thigh and I can feel his hard cock occasionally bumping against my lower legs. I’m breathing pretty heavy right now and I’m looking around for anything to use as a weapon and I notice the phone on the ground. Now, Jason and I have been trying to teach Paco to fetch so I slowly start gesturing to the phone and trying to whisper, ‘Fetch,’ without the intruder noticing. And you know what, Jay?”

“What’s that,” Jay asks. “Did he fetch you the phone?”

“No. He fetches me one of the guy’s socks!” Olivia broke out into laughter as the audience and Jay joined in with her. Catching her breath she started the story again, “ Now the guy traces the knife tip up my other leg and I’m forced to spread out my other leg and by now my feet are touching the opposite sides of the bottom of the bed with him leering down at me from his spot between my thighs. He lays down on top of me and I can feel his hard dick throbbing between our bodies and he suddenly thrusts his tongue into my mouth and kisses me roughly. He broke the kiss and licked along my jaw and began nuzzling my neck. And I’m kinda ashamed to admit it, but I started shivering and moaned out a little.”

“And why’s that?” Jay asked.

“Well, I’ve always loved to have my neck nuzzled and kissed, and love it when my men have a little bit of beard stubble. I like the feel of it scratching across my neck and shoulders,” Olivia said, a little flushed.

“So I imagine this guy, this stranger, accidentality found your special spot…?” Jay asked as he winked at the audience and pretended to take notes.

“Yeah,” Olivia said as she giggled. “So this guy is nuzzling my neck, accidentality turning me on, just a little, and I’m still looking for a weapon. I just start gesturing wildly at Paco who starts bringing me random objects in the room; his ball, one of my shirts, his leash, a shoe, his plastic water dish…”

“So nothing useful?” Jay smirked.

“Nope,” Olivia said, shaking her head. “And meanwhile this guy starts using his hands on me, sliding up and down my sides, up under my shirt and just begins to maul my tits and trying to suck my nipples through my
T-shirt. And it was just setting me on fire, Jay. I was trying so hard not to moan out in pleasure as this complete stranger just began working my tits. I can’t tell you, Jay. I was scared and confused and so turned on, I can’t even explain.

“Mmmm, yeah, yeah,” Jay agreed as he nodded his head.

“And I’m still trying to think of a way out or a way to get a weapon or something,” Olivia said as she mimed looking around frantically. “And there’s Paco, sitting maybe 3 feet away, watching the whole thing happen with that goofy dog grin on his face. So here’s this guy squeezing and massaging my chest and then suddenly he leans up and places the knife at my collar bone and I nearly freak out, but luckily he just trails the tip down my chest to the neck line of my T-shirt. He slides the cold metal under the neck of my shirt and slides it down and the material just seems to spread open and expose my tits to the cold air. And with the way I’m panting, my naked chest is just rising and falling really fast as I pant.”

Olivia shifted in her seat as her pussy started to moisten as she remembered that night. But ever the actress she kept her composure and continued with her story. “So there I was, my arms still in my T-shirt’s sleeves with my tits and chest fully exposed,” she said as she licked her lips. “And this guy just whimpers. Whimpers like Paco when I tease him with a treat, right?”

“Or 2 treats,” Jay said, the audience and Olivia laughing out.

“Or 2 teats,” Olivia smirked. “Next the guy laid down on top of me again and I can feel his dick smearing pre-cum along my stomach pressed between us. At the time I was to scared or turned on or whatever to notice but he then put the knife down on my night stand so he could cup and squeeze my breasts.”

“Uh huh, uh huh,” Jay said.

Olivia made sure to look out at the audience to make sure they felt included in the story as she continued, “At first he’s kinda gentle, maybe a little nervous or something but then he just starts squeezing and mauling my tits and bolts of electricity are just shooting through my body, y’know? Now I can’t tell you if it was just him moving around on top of me or me kinda, unconsciously responding to him, but as he moved down a little to keep mauling my breasts his giant cock was right on top of my thong and we’re just grinding our groins together. His dick is just rubbing along my panties and sliding over my clit which is hard as a pebble by now and I’m just thrusting my hips up to meet it. We’re just griiinnnding together, dry-humping.”

Jay was tapping the eraser on his pencil against his desk as he listened. “Itchin’ for a little friction, as the kids would say.”

The audience and Olivia giggled, “Right, right. Now, I’m trying not to moan out in pleasure and I’ve totally forgotten about escaping but I do look over and see Paco just sitting on the guy’s pile of clothes, just staring at us.”

“Ever the watchful guard dog,” Jay said.

“More like the watchful voyeur pervert dog,” Olivia laughed. “So I’m biting my lip, trying not to moan, when the guy bends down and sucks one of my nipples into his mouth. That’s it form me, the straw that broke the camel’s back and I moan out and try to push my tits into his mouth. He’s switching between nearly chewing on my nipples to sucking hard on them like some kinda hungry calf or something and I’m just writhing in pleasure, almost crying out. It was pretty intense, Jay.”

“I bet,” Jay agreed. “Ya never know how you will react to stuff.”

“I know, right.” Olivia said. “I think it was, like, a adrenalin thing. Anyway, I’m moaning and gasping and I just can’t help myself, right? And all of the sudden I feel it, I’m about to cum. I mean, that’s pretty impressive, even for me. Jason is always joking about how sensitive my body is and now this complete stranger had me read to cum after only a few minutes.”

“Right, right. The ‘adrenalin’ thing,” Jay said, nodding his head as if it explained everything.

Olivia shrugged. “I guess so. Anyway, like I said, I’m about read to cum Now I guess part of my mind was remembering that this guy was dangerous cuz I hadn’t moved my arms or legs since all of this started. My legs were spread, still wearing my little socks and my arms are just spread out from my now sweaty body. So here I am, gasping and moaning in pleasure, writhing underneath this strange man, mostly naked, dry-humping him and trying to push more of my tits into his talented mouth, ready to cum. My blood felt like it was boiling, Jay. And you know what? What happened right as I was about to cum?”

Jay was enraptured. “No. What happened?”

Olivia through her hands up like she was exasperated. “He just stopped.”

Jay and the audience bust out laughing. “Oh no.,” Jay laughed out as he clapped his heads.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders and looked around, acting like she was confused. “I know. What was that?” she laughed.

“Oh my God,” Jay squealed as eh slowly stopped laughing. “What happened then?”

Olivia held her hand to her chest as if she needed to catch her breath. “Well, he sits up on his knees and just stared at me for a little while. Just leering at me, y’know?”

“With as much time as he spent just staring at you, I bet he wishes he had brought a camera,” Jay smirked.

Olivia nodded her head enthusiastically. “Probably. Well anyway, I start to come down and at first I can’t stop staring at his huge schlong. It’s just pointing straight at me and just dripping pre-cum, but as I’m staring at his cock I notice his hands are by his sides, right?”

Jay nodded his head. “The knife. Right.”

“Yeah,” Olivia said. “I notice he’s not holding it and I look over at my nightstand and there it is, right where my phone was.”

“Oh my,” Jay said in a fake gasp. “So what did you do?”

Olivia had to shift around in her chair again, her pussy starting to throb as she answered, “Nothing. I didn’t have a chance. I guess he must have seen me see looking, y’know? Cuz the next thing I know his arm is just a blur as he reached out and grabbed it.”

“Oh no,” Jay said as he hung his head down, shaking it side to side. “Your one shot.”

“And that’s not even the worse part, Jay,” Olivia said with a giant grin.

“Oh, no. It gets worse?” Jay asked smiling.

“Yep,” Olivia said. “First he wags the knife at my face like a parent getting on to a child and saying ‘Tut, tut, tut. We’ll need to do something about that.’”

“Really?” Jay asked, looking serious.

“I had a flashback to my mom catching me stealing cookies,” Olivia giggled.

Jay chuckled, “So in the middle of being raped you flashback to your mom?”

Olivia laughed, “I know. How random is that? Plus, that’s still not the worse part.”

Jay tried to contain his laughter. “Really? It gets worse?”

“Totally,” Olivia said. “He says he’s going to have to do something to keep my hands from getting me in trouble and starts looking around. And here’s the worse part.”

“O.k. What?” Jay asked.

“He finds the leash that Paco had fetched,” Olivia said as she burst out laughing.

Jay and the audience laughed for nearly 2 minutes before Jay could talk again. “So Paco really was a accomplice.”

Olivia manged to finally stop laughing enough to answer, “Exactly. So the guy ties my hands above my head and this caused my breasts to really pull up high and tight on my chest, right? So he bends down and gives a quick lick and suck to my still hard nipples and if this is because of how turned on I still am or I’ve come down from my near orgasmic high enough that I was scared again, I don’t know.”

“So you’re back to normal enough to be scared again?” Jay asked.

“Oh, totally,” Olivia said. “So he tied up my hands, sucked and pecked my tits and then he ran slowly ran the tip of his knife from my collar bone, down my chest, between my tits and over my fluttering stomach to just above my now soaked panties. I can see him lick his lips through the hole in his mast and with a flick of his wrist he just cuts the sides of my panties. Now I was planning a photo-shoot the next day so I was shaved completely bare and the instant the cold air hit my swollen pussy I shivered all over as goosebumps broke out across my naked skin.”

“He didn’t stop to just stare at you again, did he?” Jay asked.

Olivia shook her head as she shifted in her seat again and giggled. “No, no. Just licked his lips as she laid down between my spread legs.”

“Now, now,” Jay interrupted. “He laid down on top of you again, between your legs or…”

“No,” Olivia said. “Below me between my legs. I had just expected him to fuck me and get it over with but he didn’t. He just laid down between my legs.”

Jay cocked a quizzical eyebrow at Olivia. “You didn’t have just your ‘average’ rapist, did you?” he said as he grinned.

Olivia returned his grin. “I know, right? So I look down my totally naked body…”

“Except for
your socks,” Jay interrupted.

“Right, right,” Olivia giggled before continuing. “Totally naked except for my socks. So I look down the length of my body and I can only see the top half of his head as he takes my ruined thong between his fingertips and slowly pulls it out from between my ass-cheeks. And as the wet material of my thong slid over my asshole it just seemed to set me off again, causing me to shiver all over. And this time I knew it was all in pleasure.”

Jay nodded his head like it was obvious. “Uh huh, uh huh. And do you usually go in for anal?”

Olivia tried not to blush. “Not before then,” she said sheepishly.

“And now?” Jay asked lecherously.

Olivia blushed a deep scarlet as she slunk down in her chair, holding her hand over her face to hide her red face and embarrassed smile.

Jay and the audience laughed for a few moments before Jay held a hand up to quiet the audience. “Now, now. Let’s not pry,” he said to the audience. “Her private life is private.” Jay looked back at his beautiful, embarrassed guest, “Now you were telling us about your rape.”

Olivia cleared her throat, unable to stop smiling or blushing in embarrassment. “Right. Ahem, right. So now he just throws my ruined thong to the floor and settles down, getting comfortable between my legs. By now my legs are almost sticking straight out, almost like I’m a upsidedown letter T and the bed’s pretty full so the guy has no where to set his knife down and looks off the the side, seeing Paco. And you know what the guy does, Jay?”


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